Benedicts News reporter, Muqkadeen Poole ventured to interview the famous Santa Claus about the truth of his career.
Q: What’s most satisfying about the job?
A: Making everybody happy.
Q: What’s the most difficult part?
A: Even with the rowdy reindeer, lackadaisical elves, and monitoring THE LIST, the most difficult part of my job would still have to be making sure Elves meet deadlines. For instance the elves like to procrastinate when it comes to crunch time…sort of like students.
Q: How exactly do you get down the chimney?
A: Magic,’’ Santa Claus said with a wink. He also revealed that sometimes he sneaks through the front door. When asked how he knows that his actions are not considered breaking and entering, Santa Claus replied, “I’m expected.
Q: Tell us how are you able to keep that trim shape and eat so many cookies and milk?
A: I give most of them to the reindeer.” Between the millions of houses he visits, the calories accumulated are way beyond the national suggested calorie level. But even taking in the athletic ability of the reindeers to be able to travel the world in one night, milk and cookies wouldn’t be the best choice.
Q: What does Mrs. Claus think about what you are doing for the world?
A: Mrs. Claus does not exist”…Bum Bum Buuuuum!
Santa Claus finally revealed to the world the truth: the cheery Mrs. Claus is not real. Santa said the media had given him a wife. “It’s hard enough making toys for the whole world; how would I be able to handle a wife?
Q: Is it true Rudolph is your favorite?
A: No Rudolph is not my favorite reindeer,” Santa Claus said. “That one song, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, blasted him into fame about his best night’s work, but Rudolph is really normal amongst his reindeer brethren,” Santa said . “Prancer is his number one worker . He’s always kind.
Q: Santa, how do you feel about all of those phonies out there acting like you? Have you ever thought about suing?
A: They’re fine,” Santa Claus said. “As long as they’re making people happy. He added, “The impersonators who like to take nips of drinks before they work are the ones who are deemed very naughty.
Q: Can you give insight into the list everyone seems to be worrying about?
A: He’s making a list. He’s checking it twice. He’s going to find out who’s naughty or nice.
With technology today, Santa Claus explained he doesn’t necessarily have to check his list twice. “It’s all saved on my H Drive.”